Horseshoes and Lesbians

While Johnny was in town I had to explain the game of horseshoes to him. The game involves throwing a horseshoe around a metal stake located in a pit of sand or clay 40 feet away from you.This reminded be of an anectodote from last summer that I thought I should share.

While in Ohio I also got a chance to watch my Mom in action at her horseshoe league. It was fascinating. It was liking watching David Lynch's vision of white trash suburban women. The ladies were all chain smoking, drinking beer, and swearing more than a Tarantino film. There were lots of little kids running around but they didn't seem to mind the R rated event. In between all their vices, the women still had enough energy to throw their horseshoes around the metal post. The really old ladies were my favorite. With their cigarette still in their mouth they would fling their horseshoes into the pit. They also had these strange metal claws that they would use to pull the horseshoes out of the clay/mud so that their hands wouldn't get dirty. Then they would wipe the shoes off with a rag. I was fascinated that the body part they were most concerned with was their hands. It seemed somewhat obsessive. The subtext that makes this story even more Lynchian is that one old lady, while pointing to a team of well-built women with short hair, told my mom "All the women on that team are dikes." She was insulting them, but apparently there is some truth to the rumor that the big butch women like to get naked with the other big butch women. They have their own Secret Lesbian Horseshoe team. Don't worry. That's not the team my mom plays for.